Toronto (SPTV) - Breaking news reports indicate that I spilled popsicle on myself. I am quoted as saying, “It happened so quickly. At first I didn’t even feel anything, but then I looked down and saw the red stain spreading…spreading. I clutched at my t-shirt and only then could I feel the wound.”
Experts [me] believe that the popsicle was of the raspberry variety and may or may not stain the t-shirt. The t-shirt was immediately rushed to the sink for treatment, and is currently being held in critical condition. Gifted experts [also me] further believe that recent advances in washing technology may enable the t-shirt to make a full recovery.
Raspberry popsicles are some of nature’s tastiest sicles, but experts say they account for over 70% of all sicle related accidents.
